Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Insomnia again

Well, it's official. I'm in the middle of yet another bout of insomnia. This happens way to often for my liking. I hate this feeling. Where you are both wide awake and exausted at the same time.
I've resorted to popping a nyquil (probably not a bad idea with this stupid cold anyhow... I've had it long enough that I think I should give it a name). Hopefully I'll be able to sleep when it kicks in.

I tried playing poker... but my focus is all off and I pissed away an entire buy in. Just not patient enough at this point. Lesson learned... don't play without a clear head.

Maybe this is all happening because I stopped taking the Paxil. Life seems to have calmed down enough that I don't seem to need it for the anxiety, but I forget how much it protects me from regular depression too. I feel so alone in this world sometimes... then I start getting down on myself becuase EVERYONE gets lonely. So here I sit, feeling alone, and disapointed in myself for feeling alone. That makes me feel pretty pathetic, 'cause that's so friggin mundane. This is a fun cycle. At least Patches can't seem to stop purring. Cat's are so good that way.

I hope the nyquil kicks in soon... I really could use the sleep.

guess that's it for now.

1 Comments:

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6:40 AM  

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Location: Thornton, Colorado, United States

I'm a geek, plain and simple. I used to fence, I play poker when I can, and am learning to play lacrosse. I also work WAY too much.

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