Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The cult of the dragging ass : part 2

ugghhh.
I started having to make regular trips to make love to porcaline goddess at about 5:00 last night. I managed to get that settled down by 1:00 am. I lost one dose of nyquil to the goddess, but managed to hang on to the other one long enought to get some sleep. But not nerely enough. I hurt.
Dayquil... the elixr of life... that tastes like poo. I just feel bad around the edges.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Wheeeeeeee

Life is such a roller coaster.
Bid farewell to my friend who's moving to Washington last night. I hope she is deleriously happy out there. She has such a beautiful spirit... she deserves to be happy. May the fates be kind.

Then hung out with a two very cool die-hard LAX fans to clear my mind of lingering regret. These two ladies are a blast to hang out with and I look forward to more.

Govett... saw it fit to throw a stink about the fan club site, and THEN get on a plane to go to the NCAA championships. We might get to meet with him this week. So, I still have great advertising and no F&%$#^ing site. This makes me look bad professionally.

Lastly... product review... Coke Blak. Take a coffee and dump a coke in it. Who the HELL thought that would be a good product??? I drink my coffee black... the stronger the better. I suppose if you like your coffee sickeningly sweet this would taste good... But to my refined coffee palet, I think I want to vomit.

edit at 5:18pm Mountain time: I DID just throw up. And while I have no proof that it was the Coke Blak, considering what I wrote earlier... I'm going to have to finger that. I feel fine now that my stomach is vacated. That shit shouldn't even be allowed to exist!!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Warning: sentimentality ahead.

A wise woman once told me it's that which we don't do that we'll regret the most.
I'm not certain I agree, but sometimes there is just no choice for those of character.

This is the last weekend that a friend of mine will be in town. She is moving after this weekend is over... There are times when words cannot express emotion. This is one of those times. I wish her a fond farewell. I hope to stay in touch... but I have little faith in that to be honest. This has the earmarks of a bright friendship that is destined to fade as quickly as it blossomed. The demands of daily life allows for this to happen far too easily. I don't want this to happen, but I have a hunch. I hope I'm wrong.

I will cherish every moment this weekend, remember every moment that has come before fondly, and wish her all the best. Be happy my friend. Godsspeed. Your friends love you and will miss you.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

well, that bit.

I apparently pissed off Steve Govett. GM of the Mammoth.
I mentioned a meeting with some of the KSE people, about the Mammoth fan club. I was really excited about getting things going... and we needed more info. So we put together a framework site and put it up on the boards to gather info.

Apparently Mr. Govett reads the boards and went to the site. Rather than realize what it is... a teaser to try and gather info... he shat a big purple twinkie. Soooo... site now advertised and off line, thanks a lot Steve. I appreciate the loss of face. I'm now no longer remotely gung ho about this. Instead, I feel that we've been kicked. It's going to be very hard to stay motivated about this.

And now, for something completely different

The Official Colorado Mammoth Fan Club is going to happen. Had a great meeting with 3 of the KSE (Kronke Sports and Entertainment) people last night to discuss founding an official organization.

They were AWESOME people. Listened to our ideas and didn't think anything was not feasible at all. There will be a VERY public announcement after we get the sight and details all worked out. But there is a private framework up and we're taking all sorts of ideas for what it could mean to be part of the club.

I am also starting the groundwork for a Mammoth Lacrosse podcast. I've gotten castblaster (need to pay for it so I can go longer than 10 minutes).

I'm incredibly excited about getting this going. I think JR and I are going to have to set aside some time on a weekly basis to contintinue to add more flesh to the skeleton of the site. At least for the first few months. (I'll post the link to the site in a more public fashion when we're more comfy with the layout and design)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lazy days are here again...

Motivation at work is slipping a little again. Some mornings it just doesn't pay to chew through the straps.

I don't know what it is... but the grind is finally getting to me. My superhuman abbility to shovel crap is waning a little. I think I'm staying up to late. Last night I was watching a movie with a friend until almost midnight, and THEN went grocery shopping. (side note: midnight is the BEST time to shop for groceries... no one to bother you and they haven't started blowing out all the pallets for a re-stock)

Ended up watching Ghosts in the Darkness... not a bad film really. I'm surprised it wasn't as well recieved as it could have been. Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas both put in pretty good performances. Plus there's something satisfying about killer cats. I was a little miffed that I didn't check my mail on the way out, I was supposed to recieve Being John Malkovitch (she's a big John Cusak fan) from Netflix. But I lucked out and shouldn't have felt bad at all, I checked this morning and it wasn't there. It'll be there tonight.

I'm getting together tonight with a friend and meeting with a front office guy from Kronke / Mammoth to talk about getting an official fan club set up. There are a few ideas running around in my head, it'll be fun to see what is feasible and what isn't. I'd love to see a discount trip on Frontier next year. That would rock having an entire plane filled with Mammoth geeks!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Filling in the Gaps : Part 2

Soooo, the party winds down (we closed the place)... and we all start to head home. My buddy Link has 4 ladies phone numbers from 2 seperate bachlorette parties. The dude can work a crowd. In a way I'm envious, in a way I'm happy with my insecurities. Everyone's different.

Iris can barely walk. I was pretty much her crutch all the way back to the car. It's at this point that I'm thanking Odin's wisdom to NOT overindulge when you may be needed. The whole time she's letting loose with the cutest stream of drunk babble. Unfortunately, none of it had that drunken wisdom that comes up sometime.

Like earlier in the evening, Fro looks at me and says "Are you OK, you look upset..." (this was before the T&T's loostened me up a bit), "No, that's not it... it's like you are waiting for something. Something that will never come. But you're waiting anyway." Needless to say, my jaw slams into the floor. I look at Pebbles who heard this and her eyes are like dinner plates. I haven't blogged this, but I've started falling for a lady that is unavailable. The emotions haven't blossomed completely, so I just keep pushing it back under the surface and waiting for the situation to resolve itself, it's really best for everyone. One of those moments that you wonder what God was using this guy as a mouthpiece. I may have greatly underestimated him.

Anyhow, we get Iris home and Link shows his amazing talents. Iris is GONE. We all know she needs to vacate her stomach or she is going to wake up in the 4th level of hangover hell and will HATE life. But like most people, she abhors vomiting. We've got her a receptacle and I try to get her to drink some water (the only true cure at this point as everyone knows), but she's fighting me at every step. Meanwhile, Link gets a guinness... the MF KEEPS drinking while doing this. Long story short, he uses no fewer than 4 different forms of psych until she's drinking the water. I'm in awe and the way he alters his vocal tone and cadence to get her to take the water and work her through a toxin flush. Drinking guinness the entire time! Amazing. Eventually, the toxins are out of her system and she passes out on my floor. Link is in no shape to drive so he sleeps on the sofa and JR goes home (he's sober like I am). I try to get Iris up to the guest bed, but she's out and just mumbling. So I go to bed, overall... one of those surreal but fun nights.

I wake up and Iris gets put into the bed in the dark room and is sleeping peacefully. Link is up, and we get the cars. When I get home, Iris is up and I make a VERY light breakfast / lunch. Had a nice quiet afternoon making chicken soups, chatting, reading comicsm and making sure she's OK before heading home. It's times like this that I really want to get a roommate. I find my home a sanctuary, and I'm usually happy. But I don't have much human interaction within my walls and it can be nice. A guy could get used to having feminine company. Just not in the cards right now, and I'm OK with that. I'm young and got a LOT of time to live this life yet.

And then Monday comes and the spell of Sunday is broken. Always sucks when spellcraft comes unraveled, but one cannot spend their lives in a sanctuary. I worked from home yesterday to prevent massive distractions (like this long blog :) ), and it worked. I've gotten all of my sev1s done and am nearly through my stack of other issues. But all is not happy in work-land. I got an e-mail yesterday that had all the tact of a brick, saying that we need to be in the office during this next push... Blah, blah, blah. Has me a little pissed as I was the only DBA in the office last week and just got battered. Every 15 minutes I was interuppted and couldn't get more than a few minutes contiguous to think. So I HAD to work from home to avoid the distractions.
(Addendum to above, the guy who sent the above e-mail appologized for the e-mail to the team in a meeting this morning after Rob explained to him what everyone's situation was... points for being able to admit a mistake... there is hope.)

Finally, I got an amazing surprise. Last night at Spycraft, my ex-fiance from 3 years ago showed up. she was going to just drop in and get some contact info from everyone. But we convinced her to stay and play. I have to say, she looked good. She was smiling and laughing... It was genuinely good to see her. Last time I saw her she was a mess and I felt awful. She's starting a Marvel game up and was inviting the group. She said she still wasn't comfortable inviting me, as it's at her home. I can understand that completely, and harbor no ill will to maintaining her sanctuary. She seems well... I hope it's not just an act, but it sure seemed genuine. That had to be hard for her, to walk into that group after all these years. I hope she felt welcomed. She's a good person (or I wouldn't have gotten engaged to her), we just didn't work out romantically. It was very pleasent to see her.

Filling in the gaps : Part 1

Life was definately a blur over the weekend, so I will try to embroider around the edges of what I had previously posted.

The Outlaws game : We won 24-14, with Mike Law scoring a sock trick (6 goals for you unwashed barbarians :) ). I'm impressed by the show that the Outlaws put on. The stadium was really nice to be in and overall I would HIGHLY recommend the event to anyone.
Tailgaiting before the game is now the new tradition, that was stinking sweet. Got to toss the ball around with a few of the other fans, one of which played for CU's LAX team... needless to say, I need to learn to catch his passes. They are a LOT faster than I'm used to. It's how you learn :)
During the game, we had a little bit of a slow start. Most of us (as you saw if you followed the link) were wearing cowboy hats and bandanas. I hope that tradition takes off as a crowd full of that would look sweet. On the topic of tradition, we're still not 100% certain which of our Mammoth traditions work right and which don't. One thing that is cool... the bleachers are not 100% solid. When we all get stomping, life is good. Next home game, we're adding train whistles. Some of the chants worked, some didn't. It'll evolve, but we smashed the record for attendance, so it should evolve quick.

Our seats are in Row 2... which is seriously cool. Halfway through the second, Damien Davis of the Chicago Machine took a penalty. The opposing penalty seats are right in front of us. Weeelllll, Fro said something, and it was heard. Davis turns around and starts gesturing for him to come down on the field for an altercation. EVERYONE saw it and it was ON!!! We laid it on so thick that you could feel the steam coming off his head. It was beautiful. During the postgame party the Outlaws coaches even commended us for giving him the biz... I love this game.

The post game was both cool and lame. The club (Lodo's) bit TOTAL ass. It's WAY to crowded and the music sux. I hate having to lean way into someones ear and scream to be heard (If I'm going to lean in like that I'd rather nibble and whisper than scream). I was in a FOUL mood becuase I get panicy in those situations. I may take a xanax after the next game if we decide to go again. However, once we procured a table and I got 3 T&T's down my gullet, life started getting better. I told Pebbles and BamBam, "I'm in an off mood, do NOT let me have more than 3 drinks, or I'm going to be in a NASTY headspace and no one will be happy." I think that was the right move, I had just enough to loosten up, but not to much to be drunk. Apparently, another friend of mine, Iris, told Link (I'm using fake names... I never blog real names without permission) to "Make sure she wasn't sober." Let's just say we both got our wish (More later).

As I started enjoying myself, I was a bit disapointed that two other friends (two ladies who went to Buffalo) had to leave early for work constraints. I want to get to know them better. They seem such genuinely jovial people. Anyhow, I got to talking to a front office staffer of the Outlaws about Dave Stilley from the Mammoth. Apparently, he would have played in the outdoor league this year if he had been playing in Denver. And those bastards in SF took him 1 pick before the Outlaws did. What a crock of crap. Stilley is beloved in this town and seeing his two speeds (on and insane) on the field would have been GREAT.

The conclusion of the night in part two.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Looong weekend.

Lots of things to mention... not enough time.

Outlaws game rocked. See http://www.denverpost.com/lacrosse/ci_3848266 This is going to be a VERY fun year. Mike Law owes me a sock!!

I had a friend crash at my house for 3 nights... I must say I enjoy houseguests so much. I like cooking for more than one, and being able to have such leisurly conversations. Time well spent.

Working from home today... the office was just way too distracting over last week, so I didn't get near enough WORK done. Sad how that goes sometimes.

Anyhow... More detail later... Gotta beat feet.

Friday, May 19, 2006

I have to make more time

I never thought I'd say this, but this blog has come to have theraputic benefits for me. I've never kept a journal before and this started out as a way to track and tell my exploits at the poker table.

The more often I write, the more I'm realizing that those are pretty shallow topics. Don't get me wrong, they are an absolute blast. But it's nice to have the space to put other thoughts down as well. I know I'm not the greatest, or even most compitant of writers. That doesn't seem to matter.

I both stayed in and went out last night. An old friend dropped by (to borrow my steam cleaner and say hi), and we had dinner. Another friend (the one who is departing.) called and asked if I wanted to hang out at Dave and Busters and then elsewhere after that. After my dinner guest left, I drove down to D&B to surprise her... but they had already moved on to another bar ... but there was a small dance floor. The funniest part is it felt like I just got invited to a bachlorette party. 6 women and me... can't say I'm ever REALLY comfortable in that situation. I get nervous around women, but after I got ovet the shock of being the only male there, I was surprisingly fine. I guess I'm in a headspace where it doesn't bother me that much. That and I don't feel accesible right now romantically... so I can relax. I'm in a bit of a self imposed stasis... for a plethora of reasons, which will remain private on-line .

I think I surprised Miss Moving Away by dancing. I don't know what got it in her mind that I can't dance. ... well, maybe it was something I said... like "I can't dance". I suppose that's a little disingenuous as I CAN dance... just not swing dance. I've tried several times and my fencing footworks fucks with my swing footwork. But the flowing rave / club dancing. that's just feeling the music and freelancing. I can do that. :) I've always enjoyed going to Poly Esthers and the Church. My ex never wanted to go though... she just wanted to learn stuctured dancing. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre.

I've got a few items to create over the next few days. Things like a birthday gift for Brian Langtry (star forward on the Colorado Mammoth) and a talisman. I'll post how they turn out.

The other funny thought... I haven't played poker ONCE since saying it's time to get serious. Hmmmm... I suck.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

All good things...

I had a wonderful night last night. My friend who is leaving invited me to coffee with a friend of hers. They are both such good people and the conversation was very appreciated. (They also have a surprisingly good decaf at Paris... which is hard to find). It had been raining off and on all night, so there was this lovely smell pervading everything. So fresh and vibrant, like life getting re-set, if even just for a moment. The kind of smell that can cleanse the soul.

Ended up just walking and talking until the day was over. Horsed around at a park, found a "25c piece of plastic", and a natrually abandoned birds nest. And that's when it finally slamming into me... hard. There is but a single week of having her company before she is gone. Amazing how an animals empty home can trigger such things.

I'm glad that we live in a world where communication is easy... but I'm going to miss being able to spend time with my newfound friend. I fear that I have known her for such a short time that the friendship has yet to truly take root. That my nature will just let it fade away, like so many friends have before. All I can do is cherish the last week she's here. Then miss her greatly, and stay in touch, when she's gone.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

They cancelled my meeting... LOL

Home of the 7 minute blog entry

Got a meeting in 7 minutes...
Today I am up to my eyeballs in severity 1 work. to make matters worse, I'm the only DBA on staff for the next couple of days. (One guy is in training, the others wife is having complications due to surgery... definately nothing management did wrong)

Pleasent evening last night. Aeon Flux is actually a better film than I thought it would be. I love Netflix. It really allows you to stretch and look at films you wouldn't otherwise.

Got to bed before 11.. no longer a card carrying member of the dragging ass. I'm happy, focused, and motivated.

Found out on one of the boards that a friend of mine was in Buffalo and was basically assaulted at the arena... PISSES me off. I wish I had been there. Let's see them screw with me in full kit. I've scared the players... some tubby muther f**** weilding a beer wouldn't stand a chance. I just wish I could have been there. (defender archtype... wouldn't give it up for the world)

Meeting time... 7 minutes flat... not bad.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Welcome to the cult of the dragging ass

Population : Me

up till 3am. Got caught up in another of those fantastic organic conversations that just flow. My new friend has managed to do two things simultaneously. The first is to earn my trust. She is a noble person who I would be willing to stand back to back with during the king of all shitstorms. Second, she has managed to allow me to be facinated by her personality and spirit without it being uncomfortable. A very beautiful and shining example of a good person and soul. Going to miss having her around.

BUT... I'm friggin tired. I woke up this morning and Patches was extra-snuggly. That bitch. It's impossible to get up when she gives you that look that says "purrrrr... 5 more minutes?" God I LOVE that cat. I also like sleep... sleep was a good friend and I miss her. :)

So... I've got to buckle down and get some work done. They just got my mini conversion done, and now I have to work on why the hell the export is loonier than a syphiltic pirate. The battle is never over.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Time to get serious

T-minus 3 weeks to Vegas. I'll be out there for a weekend on company business. However, I made sure that I'll have extra time on Sat to play some poker.

So, I'm spending the next 3 weeks really buckling down on my limit game. Gotta re-read Small Stakes and be absolutely ready. I'm intending on hitting the 4/8 tables, so I want to be ready. The limits are getting to the point where you can go down real quick. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Still in a bit of a funk. I've got some emotional crap running around the back of my head. I'm begining to wish it would just come out, kick me in the nuts as usual, and then leave! Shouldn't be listening to Morrisey

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Wow.... Great weekend

Got a TON on my mind at the moment.
First and foremost, the Mammoth are NLL Champions!!! The boys defeated the Buffalo Bandits 16-9. The game was a classic butt-whooping from start to finish. the game started to get a little nerve wracking at 10-7, but then the Mammoth poured it on and it was all over.
My friends that made it out to Buffalo have some great stories about the post game. It sounds like the majority of the team is crazy... which is why I like them so much. It takes a certain group of people to look at the Tar Pit in full regalia and not react poorly. I love these guys.

I went to the party at Brooklyn's to watch the game. The crowd was REALLY into it. When the game finally came to the final gun, the emotion was AMAZING. Ronin and I just started crying and celebrating with all of our fellow Mammoth fans. I was hugging and kissing anyone I could. Just a moment of sheer elation. I don't get many of those. (On a funny note, when you kiss a lady on the cheek while wearing skull makeup, it makes a mark like someone bit them :) ).
I then stayed up till about 4 reliving the game and talking with a friend, who I'm starting to consider a good friend. Trust doesn't come so easy, and I recently told them they didn't fall under the category of "trusting to get your back," because I didn't know them long enough. I think I would trust her now. It's a big step to consider someone that good of friend, but the more I learn, the more I trust.

I another conversation that night... someone said I wasn't a "nice guy." Now I'm in a full on reflection mode as to why that could be said of me. Yes, I've done stupid things in my past. And I do have a streak in me that can be self-centered, but only in that I have to take care of myself. The part that bugs me is that I DO view myself as a nice person. The strange part is that they seemed to be saying I'm not nice as a compliment. That disturbs me a bit. After further conversation, I think they have an incorrect view of what it means to be a nice guy. (If it means finishing last... then I KNOW I'm nice :) )This is something that I'm going to have to talk out with people who I know and trust and get their opinions.

Which leads me to other sad thoughts. All my friends are seeming to be gone at the moment. And I really need to talk. I suppose it'll just have to wait until tomorrow or Tuesday. I have to pick my brother up from the airport tomorrow. Maybe I'll talk to him on the way home. I often find it best to sound out my thoughts to people in this situation.

Oh well... Another day, another day.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Massive Envy attack.

Allright, I just got a call from my friends in Buffalo... they are in the same hotel as the Mammoth... on the same floor as the Mammoth... in fact... it might as well be a team room.

The team is at practice at this moment... so Pebbles and Bam Bam are hanging out with the players' wives and families. How friggin COOL is that. Me... I'm tracking down 5000 erroneous database entries. Significantly LESS cool.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. It's very rare that I wish I were someone else... this is officially one of those rare times... GO MAMMOTH.

Godsspeed

Well, we gave my Buffalo bound friends a good send off party last night. I only threatened bodily harm to them twice so I could go ;) The only part of the whole thing that does upset me slightly is that we have ALWAYS been together as a crew/gang/mob for Mammoth games, and now they will not be with us. In addition another friend is taking his 4 year old (cherubic) daughter to Disney, and will also NOT be with us at Brooklyns this weekend. I will miss their company.

I drank a little last night and I think the volume on "me being me" got turned up a little (which is a LOT better than last happy hour... where my "personality volume" went to 11) . I hope I didn't offend anyone. My guess is that I didn't, my friends are my friends for a reason.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

And now I'm beyond happy

My good friends from the Tar Pit... Pebbles and Bam Bam WON the KBPI trip to Buffalo to watch the Mammoth play in the championship!!!!

Keep your eyes open on ESPN2. If you see some Mammoth fans face painted... her with a bone in her hair... that's them. Raise a glass an toast our valiant road warriors.

I'm so thrilled for them. I also tried to enter, but couldn't come up with the win. It was kinda funny that I joked on Monday night that I was SCREWED if one of them won... as they are required to take their spouse. (to quote a comedian I heard once... never screw with the source of your nookie!!), But DAMN this is great.

The only part that even remotely saddens me is that I will be seperated from my good friends when the MAMMOTH WIN THE CHAMPIONS CUP!!!

I'll be at Brooklyns... partying with the rest of the Tar Pit and the local crazies... maybe I'll get to hook up with a cheerleader... hey, let me dream man!! :)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I feel awful

Yeah, that's the only way to describe it.
I think I've finally gotten over my cold... only to find myself slipping into a pretty severe depression. I don't know what to make of it. I have a lot to be down about... so it may be situational, which is normal. I guess I'll just have to keep an eye on it and watch my friends' reactions. That's usually a good reflection. I'm not going back on the Paxil.
I started taking that about a year and a half ago when my job at FRx put me in a really bad headspace. I'm an exceptional DBA (Database Analyst for you computer illeterate who may read this), but FRx had me doing .NET development. Which is kinda like asking someone who is fluent in Japanese to translate for a Chinese speaker... just 'cause they are similar. Well I tried my best and failed. I was fired for it. But in attempting to do it I sent myself into a mental state that led to serious anxiety and panic attacks.
I was out of work for about a month until I found my job at Avanade. Which all I've done professionally in the last year is database work. I'm happy as a clam doing it. On top of that I'm respected by my co-workers and several who have known what happened at FRx have all claime that that was Avanade's gain... this makes me feel a degree of pride.
So, I no longer need the Paxil for the anxiety as I have my confidence and swagger back as a developer. I've missed that and I love having it back.
The only drawback is, that Paxil is also an anti-depressant. So I didn't realize how saddened I was by certain happenings in my life. Losing my ex as a lover and a romantic interest (still friends, but the loss there is real) left a gap that I didn't realize while I was numbed by the medication. And now it's hitting me and I am dealing with it. It's the kind of thing that everyone goes through in these circumstances, just feels strange because of the emotional delay caused by being medicated when it happens.
I just accidentally spent 2 hours on the phone with a friend... it's now 12:20. I haven't done that in quite sometime. I'm feeling a lot better. Funny how things just happen that way. The gods work in some pretty cool ways sometimes. Let's just hope Loki isn't waiting to pull the rug out from under me. But I think I'm ready for a good nights sleep... this will be a pleasent change.

Good night.

Insomnia again

Well, it's official. I'm in the middle of yet another bout of insomnia. This happens way to often for my liking. I hate this feeling. Where you are both wide awake and exausted at the same time.
I've resorted to popping a nyquil (probably not a bad idea with this stupid cold anyhow... I've had it long enough that I think I should give it a name). Hopefully I'll be able to sleep when it kicks in.

I tried playing poker... but my focus is all off and I pissed away an entire buy in. Just not patient enough at this point. Lesson learned... don't play without a clear head.

Maybe this is all happening because I stopped taking the Paxil. Life seems to have calmed down enough that I don't seem to need it for the anxiety, but I forget how much it protects me from regular depression too. I feel so alone in this world sometimes... then I start getting down on myself becuase EVERYONE gets lonely. So here I sit, feeling alone, and disapointed in myself for feeling alone. That makes me feel pretty pathetic, 'cause that's so friggin mundane. This is a fun cycle. At least Patches can't seem to stop purring. Cat's are so good that way.

I hope the nyquil kicks in soon... I really could use the sleep.

guess that's it for now.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The days are starting to all look the same

Ever feel like you are caught in a rut? Well... I feel that way right now.

It seems that every time something good happens... something bad happens. Mammoth win the championship, I get the cold that never ends. I managed to show that a lot of the data integrity issues I was tracking are actually OK... only to find my scripts had an integrity problem and were incorrectly showing a false "valid" . Meet good friends, lose good friends.

The rut I find myself in is that nothing surprises me anymore. Right now I feel like I could open my front door to find a guy with a giant check... or a kid kicking me in the nuts. And frankly, neither would be more than a "huh" response. Life is feeling numb.

My good friend that I've dated in the past and I are still social friends... and that's OK, just kind of distant. Other friends are moving away and will be missed, but my guess is they will stay close friends. It's odd how we can miss someone when they are here... or when they leave. Emotional distance is such an odd and fickle thing when compared to physical distance.

Feeling odd if you can't tell.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Soooo very tired

I lied.... The project isn't even begining to near the end.
It seems like we are going to be in this "testing vortex" till the end of time. Of course, the force 3 head cold isn't helping. It makes me wonder... how does the human head produce all this??? It's like I've drained enough to fill my skull twice over.

Luckily it has slowed down a bit and I'm able to brush off the old poker game. Nothing interesting to report... 'cept my bankroll is $103 from my starting $50. Not terrible.

The Mammoth are in the championship game this weekend. Last weekend we knocked off the Sting for the West Div championship. It was FANTASTIC. A one goal game that had Gee stop 7 shots in a 1:30 PK. I have NEVER seen a goaltender look THAT good. Look out Buffalo.

Speaking of which, I want to get out there so bad. KBPI is announcing the contest tomorrow. It's the last chance I have to get there and see this game. Otherwise, I'm going to ask the crew to paint up and head to Broklyns for the in Denver party. (They are closing the bar to the public... Mammoth fans only. Woo Hoo)

Finally, got to play in a good friends Mage game last night. They are a good group with some very cool ideas on how to keep a game flowing... now if they could only START on time I wouldn't be dragging so much. Pleasent... but tired.
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Location: Thornton, Colorado, United States

I'm a geek, plain and simple. I used to fence, I play poker when I can, and am learning to play lacrosse. I also work WAY too much.

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